I feel the need to write, both to process the tragedy and share my thoughts.
My Life and History:
This school shooting has had a profound affect on me. I was a senior in high school for the Columbine shooting. I was just married for the Virginia Tech shooting. I now have a 2 year old daughter and another one on the way. My views of the world have completely changed since my daughter was born. As a senior in high school, I didn't really understand the Columbine Shooting. It happened in a far away place to people I didn't know. I did not truly understand what a tragedy it was or even what real grief was. I was much older for the Virginia Tech shooting. I had been out of college for several years, but was still in my 20's and could associate with college life. I understood that it was a very bad event and that people lost brothers and sisters. I could visualize the event and put myself in their place. I could see myself sitting in a classroom, listening to a lecture, when all hell broke loose. But, again, it happened far away from me and to people I didn't know. The Connecticut shooting happened at an elementary school. All the victims were educators or children aged 6-7 yrs old. I am an educator and my daughter is 2. This hits too close to home. If you have children, you know the unconditional love a parent has for a child. You also know that you would do anything to protect your child. I feel a responsibility to protect my daughter and the lives of the children I teach. Their parents trust that I will care for their children, as I will trust my daughter's teacher to protect her while she is at school. I cannot imagine the amount of grief the parents' of these victims feel. I saddens my heart to just contemplate losing my daughter. I worry when she gets too quiet at home. I do not know what I would do if she was permanently silent. What would I do if I couldn't see her face in the morning? Or hear her say I love you? How would I plan a funeral? How would I continue on? A parent should not have to bury a child and I would gladly trade my life to save my daughter.
Mental Health:
Information is still coming about the shooter, but it appears that he had a mental illness of some sort. There are many articles discussing mental health issues and the social stigma associated with it. There is a general lack of understanding or support for families dealing with mental illness. We need to have a serious discussion about mental illness and help families get the resources they desperately need. Through family and friends, I have my own experiences with mental illness. My family is not a stranger to it. But, we still shy from the topic and hide from ourselves, even though we know things are not right. I pray that my daughter will be able to talk to us instead of hide from us. I will stay ever vigilant looking for the signs of problems. I will discuss mental health with her and teach her to not be afraid to seek help. If you are sick with virus, you seek a doctor. If you need financial advice, you seek a banker. If you car is broken, you seek a mechanic. Why then do we not seek help if our mind is not right?
Guns:
All major shootings naturally bring up discussions about guns and gun control. However, gun control is an issue that should be discussed by rational people making rational decisions. Not by grieving families reacting to a tragedy, or politicians looking to leverage that same tragedy for their own ends. The truth that many people do not want to accept is that we will simply not be able to get rid of all guns in this country. Let me repeat my point:
Regardless of your beliefs, legislating a ban on guns will not eliminate gun violence.
A determined attacker will acquire whatever weapons they deem necessary to commit evil. The attackers in Columbine planned for months and obtained guns and explosives illegally Convicted felons buy illegal guns every day. You will not be able to legislate the elimination of every gun in this country. We have thousands of miles of unprotected boarders on every side of this country. Criminals would continue to smuggle in illegal guns to commit illegal acts.
School Safety:
Like Mental Health issues, we need to have serious discussion about how to really make schools safe. Does our "duck and cover" drill really make us safe? Does our one Police Officer make us safe? Should we look at Israel or Mexico as example? Both of these countries surround their schools with high, razor-wire fences and armed guards. Do we follow the lead of school districts like Harrold ISD in Harrold, TX? There, teachers that have a TX Concealed Handgun License, can be approved to carry on campus. There is currently a huge push to combat bullying in school. This could have helped prevent the violence experienced in Columbine, but would not have prevented the Connecticut shooting.
Answers:
I don't know the answer. I believe it will be a combination of many things. What I do know, is that I am terrified for the future of my daughter and the future of all children. We cannot simply point fingers and try to blame one aspect, while turning a blind eye to all the other contributing factors. I will do everything in my power to protect my classroom of children when I am with them. And I will continue to protect my family when I am with them.
May God have mercy on the souls of children. I thank every educator for protecting the children entrusted to them. Someday you will have my daughter in your class, as I might have your son in mine.
